Cringe-worthy company Christmas parties

I know the holiday season is over, but I have to talk a little bit about company Christmas parties. I usually find them pretty cringeworthy. There was a survey in the Metro NYC newspaper recently in which 3 percent of poll respondents said they hate going to their corporate Christmas parties. Hate is a strong word for me; I don’t hate them as much as get the creeps from them. It makes me feel weird to see people in coat and tie, who are older and likely much more senior than me, dancing to "It’s Getting Hot in Herrre (So Take off All Your Clothes)." It’s that same feeling you used to get as a kid when you ran into your teacher in her "casual" clothes getting groceries late at night.

I like the free food, drink, and chatting with my immediate coworkers, but when they start to clear the dance floor after the CEO’s welcome, I feel myself shrinking a little in my chair—yet unable to tear my eyes from the scenes occuring in and around the dance floor. It really is like watching a train wreck. In addition to some nameless, faceless executive who starts doing The Elaine on the dance floor because, for him, this is THE event of the year, there’s that guy skulking around the outer perimeter boosted by liquid courage looking for someone to sexually harass. (There’s always that guy whom you suspect is a pervert, but who doesn’t actually act on those impulses until the holiday party).

I guess, though, if the enthusiastically-enjoying-this-holiday-party contingent weren’t there, there would really be little else to entertain me through the night (and by night, I mean 7 p.m., because that’s when the flyer says the party is over, which the company makes sure of.) Pointing out special dance moves helps fill lulls in the conversation. And the world would be a much gloomier place if everyone had the same holiday-spiritless attitude that I have. So perhaps in the end, I actually enjoy going to the company Christmas party. As my coworker pointed out to me, I love to hate it.