Weren’t we done throwing the Christians to the lions?

Or, my other title for this post: People are stupid.

That was the first thing I thought when I read this story about a man who lowered himself into a lioness den at a Russian zoo. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t be making fun of folks who clearly have more than a few screws loose. And of course, it’s a tragedy that a man lost his life. But the guy declares before getting mauled, “If God exists, he will save me.” IF God exists?? Dude, you don’t test the existence of God by lowering yourself into a lion’s den. You work your way up to that! Maybe start with like, “if God exists, he’ll heal this ingrown toenail.” And anyway, if you march into a lion’s den doubting God’s existence, you have no business asking Him to save you. Notice how in the photo the lionesses look bored, like mauling crazy people is just all in a hard day’s work.

A remarkably similar instance occurred in Taipei zoo a few years back, when a man lowered himself into a lion’s den and ordered the lion to repent. To which the lion replied, “Shut your piehole, LUNCH!” (Though in this picture, the lion’s expression does sort of scream heathen, doesn’t it?) The best part about this news story is how it ends: “Newspapers said that the lions had been fed earlier in the day, otherwise the man might have been more seriously hurt...or worse.” Or worse is damn right. He would have been cat food.

These stories prove two main points: 1) In the battle of man vs. hungry lion, man will never win. 2) People who use God as an excuse for their stupidity are only asking to be eaten by hungry lions.

(On an aside, I realize I've focused a lot lately on morbid zoo incidents/strange animal attacks. I hope this is not some sort of prediction of a random tragic animal attack on me.)