Note to Jeff Probst: Mexicans and Canadians aren’t the same as Americans, either

I couldn’t believe it when I read this article in the Washington Post’s TV column. Was the writer trying to make Survivor host Jeff Probst look like an effing idiot? Are the producers offering him up as a lamb to the media slaughter by constantly making him answer reporters’ questions as an “Aw shucks, I’m just a white guy from Wichita, and I don’ know no better” mouthpiece for the controversial season? Or did he put his own big, fat, calloused-by-the-jungle-elements foot in his mouth by himself?

Whatever the reason, I’m seriously hoping that a lot of what Jeff said is out of context, such as asking his dentist “Where in Asia are you from?” and then being shocked that there are different countries that actually make up Asia, and no, we don’t all get along (and Jeff, we all don’t speak the same language either, which you probably thought was Chinese).

I’m sorry, but saying you’re from Wichita is not an excuse. By my calculations, this is the 13th year of Survivor, which means he’s probably lived in LA for more than a decade, not even counting his years as the host of Rock ‘n’ Roll Jeopardy. If you live in Southern Cal, Jeff, you have exposure to Asians, or you can get it. Drive over to Ktown, or Chinatown, or Little Tokyo sometime.

So I don’t think I’ll be watching Survivor: Cook Islands simply because I haven’t watched Survivor since the first season, but also because I don’t want to give in to the stupidity. I hate when Hollywood gets on its high horse about promoting interesting social experiments that are supposed to make a statement on some deep-seated prejudice in America. Get your heads out of your asses, Hollywood. You usually get it wrong anyway. Take the movie Crash, which was supposed to be a statement on racial tension in LA. The “let’s pat ourselves on the back for initiating racial dialogue” writers chose to name the Korean wife “Kim Lee,” merely combining the name of two well-known Korean surnames instead of doing the proper two seconds of research it would have taken to ask a Korean person what a real Korean name would have sounded like. Come on, you all go to the dry cleaners don't you? Or a bodega? And I know some of you went to Ivy League schools.

I think what’s compounding my outrage was an outing last weekend to Tribeca with some friends. As we were getting into a cab to go home, some drunk girl proceeds to shout that us “chinks should go back to our country.” Her friend quickly stated she was “not herself” but clearly she was just voicing more of herself than the outside PC world would let her state sober. My blood was boiling as the cab pulled away and I so wished I would have been outside so I could grab a fistful of blonde hair. Bitch.

Anyway, maybe I’ll be proved wrong. Maybe Survivor will be an astounding success. Maybe it will help everyone celebrate racial differences. Mostly, I’m hoping it’ll backfire in their faces. (I’ve already heard that some advertisers have pulled out.) I think they should rename it Survivor: Shameless Publicity Stunt.