Wedded un-bliss

So this past weekend was my sister's wedding, and being the maid of honor, I had to give a toast. The basic theme of my toast was: The girl who always took care of other people found someone who could take care of her. One of the little ha-has I stuck in there was "If you ever want to see just how bossy a girl can be, make her plan a wedding."

It's a wonder that any bride can relax on her wedding day, especially if she was the one who planned it all. I can't believe how well my sister planned. But of course, there are always going to be details that are overlooked, and all these little details were enough to make her want to tear the 300 bobby pins out of her hair. For starters, the guy who was going to do her wedding updo quit, and the salon forgot to tell her. So a more junior stylist did her hair and did an ok job, but it wasn't exactly how she wanted it. Then the nail tips she didn't initially want to get, but was talked into getting by the manicurist the day before, started to peel off, resulting in the bride tearing off her own nails while getting an updo that took too long to do and wasn't what she initially wanted. Then there's the problem of the control-freak dad who tries to take matters into his own hands and behind the bride's back keeps moving things and people around without consulting the bride. Result: Bride and maid of honor do a lot of foot stomping and talking through gritted teeth. Meanwhile, groomsmen drink Coors Lights in bridal suite and stand around doing what most groomsmen do at a wedding: Nothing. If I ever get married I think I'm either going to have to elope, or if I get lucky, win the lottery/marry rich and hire a planner to do everything so all I have to do is show up in a pretty dress.

Anyway, at the end of the day, I forgot all the little overlooked details and stresses, and it was great to see my parents having a blast, despite the fact that we were yelling at my dad through gritted teeth all night. I think it also helped that the afterparty consisted of about 15 friends closing out the bar at Bennigan's. (Hey, it's the burbs, what are you gonna do?) I think my sister put in a good-faith effort to have a good time, but I think she was over it by the end of the night and just wanted to go to bed. But I can't wait to see the pictures. I think the $20K+ that people pay for a wedding might just be worth it if the photos turn out great. I expect to see alot of drunk relatives and family friends, the soul train dance line we started on the dance floor, the running around helping my sister change three times throughout the night. And I might even laugh if I see a photo of me yelling through gritted teeth.