I would totally pimp out my trailer

Okay, I admit it--I bought the new Britney single, Gimme More. (Hey, at least I didn't buy the whole album.)

Other trailer trash things I'll admit to doing recently:

1. Watching I Love New York on VH1.
2. Craving Spam.
3. Accidentally getting sucked into a Lifetime Movie Network film, "Haunting on Sorority Row," and then TIVOING IT when I had to leave before the end. (No, it wasn't worth the Tivoing space...)
4. Watching the magic/mentalist show "Phenomenon"
5. Eating hot dogs and Kraft macaroni & cheese like I was back in kindergarten.

Yeah, so what?? You got something to say about that??

Pedi-cab hotties

Maybe it's just me, but I've always noticed that pedicab drivers are really cute--young, hot 20-somethings--and I always thought it strange. I guess I'd always assumed that, like taxi cab drivers, pedicab drivers would also be mostly recent immigrants looking for a way to make a living. I did a little Googling and read that many are, indeed, immigrants, but many are also students and actors. So, my new crushes--on top of firefighters (I always see at least one or two cute ones on every firetruck)--are pedicab drivers.


It's nice to have eye candy.

Lo fidelity

Things I do when I'm bored at home, can't sleep, but don't want to do something mentally challenging like reading:

1. Cut my own hair (most recently, my bangs were the victim.)
2. Rearrange/delete/add songs to my iPod's "Faves" playlist.
3. Catch up on my Scrabulous game.
4. Piece together really gross snacks from what's in my fridge (pickles and cottage cheese; sardines with cheese and crackers; Leibniz biscuits and yogurt).
5. Cut out funny New Yorker cartoons (Get it, people will pay a $1 for anything--even a glimpse of the moon! HAHAHA!!)
6. Look at the same Crate & Barrel catalog over and over
7. Watch stuff on Tivo that I've already watched
8. Try on my "skinny" dresses to see if my fat still hangs out.
9. Google random people or do social networking searches for people I haven't seen or talked to in ages.
10. Conceive of trivial but overthought lists like I'm some sort of bad dick-lit character in a Nick Hornby novel.

I like no one

I have a new favorite song (at least until I get sick of it, which could be next week).
It's the new Alicia Keys song, No One, which plays when you log onto her website. I think it's partially that it's just a good song, but I think it's also the way she sings it. It's supposed to be a happy song but she has this stressed out longing in her voice at the same time, like she's crying out for someone. I haven't really heard her sing a song quite like that before.

Beauty in poverty

I have nothing intelligent to really say about this rather sad article in the NYT about a poor man in Japan who starved to death after he stopped receiving welfare. But I was captivated by this image of his shack because, while it's clear that this shanty was occupied by someone in extreme poverty, there's something hauntingly beautiful about it. I think it's a combination of the fact that it looks like a piece of modern art (somehow, it's color scheme doesn't look accidental, the blue of the leftover siding and the red in the rust create a beautiful combination) yet holds a story of poverty and tragedy inside.

Photo by Ko Sasaki for the New York Times.

What color is your parachute—of dating?

When I read articles like this one in the NYT, or read an infamous craigslist posting like this one, or another NYT article like this one, it makes me think, it's no wonder relationships are dysfunctional.

For starters, I've never understood the whole friends with benefits thing. Maybe because I've never had a FWB. If someone is your best friend and you are physically attracted to them too, well, to me that just seems like a no-brainer. Maybe I'm oversimplifying things, and lord knows New Yorkers like to complicate things. But I would think that's what most people are looking for--a best friend whose bones you also want to jump. God forbid anyone should have one of those.

But then there are those who only have a transactional view of relationships, most prominently featured in the craiglist post. [Read: "What am I doing wrong?"] (According to her responder, she's a depreciating asset, and his financial assets aren't, so he'd rather lease than buy, and it's not really a fair transaction.) I swear, not all NYers are this shallow. (Only slightly more than half).

As far as the second NYT article goes--I guess because I've never had a lot of disposable income, I just always assumed that the guy would make more than me to begin with. However, recently, it has occurred to me that I could be the breadwinner in a relationship, esp. if one dates one in a creative field. I'm not gonna lie, it's nice to be able to afford nice dinners and such, and I don't think these girls are denying that. It seems the real issue though is that the guys weren't comfortable with the social implications of the women making more than them. I guess they would never stand a chance with Craigslist girl.

A friend once said to me when she was dating her husband-to-be that relationships would be so much easier if we could have just wear certain color t-shirts on dates that signal what we're really thinking, without having to say it, i.e., "If I wear a green shirt, that means I like you," etc. That would make life so much easier. Here's how I would color-code the t-shirts, one for each color of the rainbow (plus two extras):

Red: I think you're hot and could care less what you're actually saying, but am pretending to be interested so I can tap that ass later.
Orange: I think you're cute but am concerned that our differences in class/friends/social status/political views/race/religion will cause problems for us down the road.
Yellow: I'm trying hard to be attracted to you, but it's not happening, so please don't lean in for a kiss later. This is not a date. I repeat, this is not a date.
Green: I offer my beauty and trophy-wife skills in exchange for your money/power/status, and vice versa.
Blue: You remind of an ex, and I'm on the rebound.
Indigo: I think I like you, see nothing wrong with you at present, and actually want to see where this goes.
Violet: I'm not out of the closet yet and am giving heterosexuality one last college try.

And here's two more:

Black: I'm not at all interested, but I was too nice to say no to this date. (Many women have a lot of black in their wardrobe, so I think this could actually work.)
Jackson Pollock: You're damaged and crazy, but I'm unhealthily attracted by that. (T-shirt color will switch to camoflauge when one attempts to hide from crazy ex.)